


Another Wasted Year

by lwielaura



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Birthday, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, M/M, Rhodey Is a Good Bro, The Avengers forget Tony's birthday, Tony Feels, Tony centric, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, a lot of apologies and making up, a shitload of romance, but they are good bros, english isn't my first language, everything is fine, proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6107908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lwielaura/pseuds/lwielaura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If I may, Happy Birthday, Sir" JARVIS’s voice echoed through the living room, unheard by anyone but him, and he could swear that his robot sounded a bit sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Another Wasted Year

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Another Year, Another Disappointment](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5512865) by [Marvelatsuperwholockedmerlin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvelatsuperwholockedmerlin/pseuds/Marvelatsuperwholockedmerlin). 



> I'm feeling depressed lately so here have some fluff.  
> Also, if you want to prompt me a stony fic, you can do it via my tumblr http://allhailtchalla.tumblr.com/

It’s not like Tony had his hopes up high this year. Except for he did.  
And that was probably what made him so angry, almost disappointed in himself because he should have known better, right?  
His birthday was never something he looked forward to because retrospective he never actually had a good one before. Maybe in the very early days, where his mom still cared and Jarvis was still around but as far as he could remember there were tears, a drunken Howard, a yelling Maria and Jarvis, who tried his best to fix the situation but it never helped because for him the case was clear. Why should they celebrate his existence when it wasn’t anything worth appreciating?  
But his life changed and he had a family now, a weird and dysfunctional and noisy family, but a caring one nevertheless. And he had Steve, who was part of it, but was something so much more because it appeared that one day they agreed that they loved each other and things began to change and went uphill from then.  
So he wasn’t sure if this was the reason that it hurt so much as JARVIS announced: “I’m afraid, the clock has stricken twelve. Your birthday is over.” Which made him just grunt quietly and borrowing his face in his hands.  
He shouldn’t have been so selfish to actually expect something, but nevertheless, he had put so much effort to make his team feel welcome and at home in his tower, made sure to remember dates,  
appointments, to get better in general and show them that he genuinely cared, that he thought maybe a dinner together, maybe just a movie night with one of his favourite movies would be a thing. Really, he was fed up with all those big and drunken birthday bangs and that was just something he craved – he flinched as this word crossed his mind – so much right now.  
Sighing heavily he tried to swallow down his disappointment and trying to fix his face again because he still was Tony Stark and Stark men were made of Iron, his father told him this so often, so what? His friends didn’t seem to care for him as much as he thought. It was a mistake that he even depended his well-being on them, actually relied on them because he was used to be alone, always have been, he was a fool to assume that this was ever about to change.  
Not intending to leave his workshop anytime soon he moved towards the couch. He had told Steve that he shouldn’t wait for him to join him in bed because he still had a project running which was a blunt lie because he had made sure that he had finished everything by today to maybe have a nice evening out with Steve – no, he just didn’t allow himself to think about this all over again but as he just lied there, staring and the ceiling, he couldn’t help but relive the day.  
How he woke up in an empty bed, a note on his night stand that Steve had agreed to change shifts at SHIELD with Culson to allow him to fly to Portland that weekend and that was probably the moment he should’ve known that this day wouldn’t get any better.  
When he entered the communal area no one seemed to notice him since he slept in and the Avengers already were involved in a huge fight due to what appeared to be a hot round of Mario Party.  
“Wanna join, Stark?” Clint offered after everything settled and Bruce calmed down enough to be out of the danger zone and he was about to accept that offer happily, because even if they’ve forgotten, he could still have a nice day with them, couldn’t he?  
But Natasha explained that she still had to debrief her last mission, Bruce remembered some highly sensitive experiment he should check, Thor was due for his Skype date with his beloved Jane and Clint agreed that it wouldn’t make much sense to play with two players, heading for the gym.  
He stayed by himself in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in his hands and feeling utterly lost, before he gave in for a little moment of weakness, chin resting on his chest, eyes closed and lips pressed together.  
“If I may, Happy Birthday, Sir.” JARVIS’s voice echoed through the living room, unheard by anyone but him, and he could swear that his robot sounded a bit sad.  
He spent the rest of the day in his workshop, ignoring the incoming call from Pepper, because she remembered, good old Pepper did, but he couldn’t bare hearing her voice right now, and when Steve returned, late in the evening, he declined his offer to join him because he looked tired as shit and sent him to bed.  
So much for this. Another year, another disappointment. 

He awoke on his sofa, feeling rumpled and stiff, probably too old to crush on a too small couch and stretched his limps gruntingly, trying to make his body word. He couldn’t exactly remember when he fell asleep but it must have been late according to the fact that it was noon already and yawning he made his way up in urgent need of a cup of coffee.  
Once again, the kitchen was crowded and the whole team sat there, chatting and laughing and greeting him and grinning over his sleepy appearance and it was more of a reflex to bow down to Steve to give him a good morning kiss on the cheek, but the usual warmth he felt on mornings like this was replaced by something cold in his chest. So he forced a smile, heading straight to his machine and waiting impatiently for the brown liquor to pour.  
He managed half a cup before he heard the front door open and he groaned because that had to be Pepper, ready to drag him to a meeting or ranting about a meeting he missed, so he was surprised as he suddenly felt a tight hug that made him jump and he squeaked undignified, assuring him the attention of the rest of the team.  
“Jesus Christ, Rhodey, you can’t just… Heart condition, remember?”  
“You’re just old.” Clint smirked and raised a laugh from the rest.  
“Speaking of old…” Rhodey grinned and finally let him go, smiling at him brightly.  
“I tried to be here yesterday but some asshole of a terrorist made me reschedule, so we have something to make up for. Belated Happy Birthday, by the way.” And he was hugged again.  
For a second he froze, aware of the awkwardness of this situation, but then a relieved smile crept on his face that threatened to make his cheeks hurt because fuck, someone actually remembered, someone cared, Rhodey always did like the best friend he was but he was never so thankful in his life for this.  
“Thanks, dude.” He replied easily, maybe sounding a bit too sincere and desperate but Rhodey didn’t seem to notice as he grabbed his arm, dragging him upstairs.  
“You better get dressed and then we get smashed, tradition is tradition.”  
He just got a quick glimpse of the shocked faces of his team, avoiding Steve’s glance completely, before he managed to get free and followed his best friend upstairs because yes, getting smashed totally sounded like a plan.

Steve felt numb, unable to move as he still focussed the door where Tony just had disappeared in.  
No one on the table made a sound and he was grateful for it because he didn’t know what to say either.  
Of course it was yesterday. They had talked about it a month ago. Tony had told him that he really didn’t want to do something big, that he just wanted their, more specific his, company because that was the one thing he wished for and he had looked so insecure that Steve just pulled him into a hug, promising that this would become finally a good memory, a good birthday because hell, he knew about his boyfriend’s past and he has sworn to be there, to make it better and Tony was so grateful no one should be for being remembered and hell, he had fucked up badly.  
His hand flew to his face, massaging his forehead, still unable to speak.  
“Did you know?” Bruce finally asked calmly, looking worried and guilty.  
“Well, we all knew, we just didn’t remember.” Natasha replied and ever her usually emotionless face looked a bit wrinkled.  
“It’s a shame to forget about something of such importance about your brother in combat.” Thor announced, looking like a kicked puppy and shaking his head a little.  
“From all people I should have remembered.” Steve chocked and no one really seemed to disagree because no one did.  
“We better make up for this.” Clint tried to be optimistic but gained some doubtful glances. Even though Steve knew best, they all were aware that Tony had some kind of issues, aware of his insecurities and his surprisingly small self-esteem that hit rock bottom on a regular basis.  
From far away they heard Rhodey and Tony coming down again, laughing and leaving the tower without saying good bye. Steve couldn’t blame him.  
“Ok, any suggestions?” Natasha just asked and they looked at each other, all lost in their thoughts.

Tony came home late and much more drunk than he cared to admit. Rhodey had already passed out on the living room couch, unable to reach the guest room. The billionaire himself had a hard time managing the stairs leading to his and Steve’s bedroom, giggling lonely as he tripped over.  
Finally he managed to get up the stairs, finding the right door, already trying to pull out his clothes before he let himself fall face forward into the bed that was surprisingly empty. He didn’t give that a second thought in his state of mind, just rolling over and falling asleep almost immediately, too drunk to care or feel or wonder.

Regretting every life choice he ever made Tony woke up feeling as hungover as he felt last in his twenties. He opened his eyes because he totally forgot that sunlight was a thing, gasping grumpily and buried his face in his pillow. A small chuckle and a warm hand on his back made him jump a bit but after his dizzy brain remembered that someone else usually slept with him in his room, he gave an approving noise and tried to shuffle a bit closer to Steve, who accepted that willingly.  
Tony totally forgot that he was supposed to feel disappointed or angry because his damn head hurt like hell and the familiar scent and tender touches and burning warmth made his situation almost bearable.  
“Morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling?”  
That question was definitely redundant but he answered with a small miserable noise anyway.  
“There’s one of Clint’s hangover smoothies and a pain killer on your nightstand.”  
“Cantmove.” He muttered and trying to roll over and sit up but failing miserably.  
“Turndownthesun.”  
“Drink that smoothie, we have plans.”  
“Dontwantplans… dontwanttobealive.”  
Once again Steve chuckled and shoved him over gently so Tony had to face the broad daylight.  
“Why do you hate me?” he groaned and closed his eyes, rubbing his lids with his knuckles.  
“Drink that smoothie, Tony. It helped Rhodey. He almost regained his ability to talk English again.”  
Tony did as he was told because in this state even he didn’t manage to disobey. The Smoothie was disgusting but worked miracles in combination with the pill and after ten minutes he felt like he could sit up on his own.  
Steve was watching him, grinning fondly (Tony knew how he must look, hair rumpled, still in the shirt he couldn’t throw off yesterday night, some stubbles on his chin, a loose tie around his neck, no pants and probably a pained expression on his face), but there was something more in his glance, something he couldn’t identify at this time of the morning and it was something heavy and hurtful and he really didn’t want to know. He felt warm hands around his, dragging him closer and he found himself suddenly in a tight hug he accepted much too happily, burring his face in Steve’s neck.  
“I love you.” He heard that beautiful voice right next to his ear and he hummed comfortably, not able to control his mouth yet and tightened his grip.  
“Are you able to listen to me or is your brain still on lockdown?” he asked after a while jokingly, but he couldn’t ban the entire seriousness in his voice.  
“Coffee first.” Tony muttered and blinked amazed as Steve reached behind him and pulled a steaming cup right out of nowhere.  
“You’re a fucking wizard.”  
“Whatever you say.” He said, rolling his eyes.  
Gulping almost the whole much too hot cup at once Tony gave out an almost obscene moan, making Steve blush a bit, but he cleared his throat, took the cup from his protesting boyfriend and putting it aside again, only to take his cold hands into his again.  
“Ok?”  
Tony nodded, avoiding the blue eyes because of that look, that honestly concerned and caring look and no, he didn’t want to see that because he didn’t want to be hurt again, he didn’t want to gather hope again and bath in the feeling of meaning something to someone when he knew exactly that it wasn’t like that –  
“Are you listening?”  
“I… no?”  
Steve sighed, freeing one hand from his grip just to put his fingers under his chin, forcing him to look up again and now he had no choice.  
“I am sorry.”  
“Sorry? Sorry for what? You don’t have to be sorry, you obviously had something more important in mind and I didn’t really care, you knew that, I told you, really, I didn’t expect anything, it’s not like you signed a contract or something because that would be really weird, don’t you think, I mean –“ he babbled, trying to escape the situation, but the look on Steve’s face made him shut up.  
“Would you stop this? I’m trying to make an apology here.”  
Tony swallowed hard but remained silent.  
“Thank you. Tony, there wasn’t something more important on my mind, you are the most important thing to me – hey, don’t give me that look, I mean it – I just… I screwed up big and I have no idea how to start making this right because you didn’t deserve that, you deserve something better but if you let me, I will try.”  
The sincere care and raw honesty made him numb for a few seconds, he opened and closed his mouth but no words came out and he felt like a fish out of the water so he simply nodded.  
“So, it’s 4pm right now, so much for breakfast in bed, do you think you’ll be able to get ready by 6 so I can take you out for dinner?”  
“Just shower me in caffeine and I’ll be all right.” He smiled and Steve smiled back, relieved and happy and it made Tony’s chest ache.  
“Start with a real shower, you’re disgusting.”  
“So that’s what we’re calling ‘making something right’ now?”  
“Well, I could join you.”  
“Better.”

They entered the communal kitchen half an hour later. Rhodey was already gone but Tony remembered something about an important conference today vaguely. Poor bastard.  
Bruce and Thor were in the kitchen, smiling at him openly.  
While his lab partner seemed to understand the situation right and wordlessly poured some coffee into a fresh mug, Thor was already on his feet and approaching him with an alarming speed.  
“Don’t hug me I’m scared!” Tony yelped but it was too late. He felt every bone aching as the iron grip of the Asgardian tightened around him and he couldn’t breathe.  
“Thor, please, I already died today. Let go of me.”  
“Nay.”  
Steve grimaced something between “I am sorry” and “I really don’t know” and if he had any oxygen left in his body he would have probably laughed.  
Finally the god let go of him and he inhaled sharply, massaging his neck and blinking confusedly.  
“So, is there a reason why you’re trying to kill me in the middle of my own tower or did I do something wrong again?”  
“This is how brothers in arm show their value for each other. Just keep in your shelled head that you are a valuable and irreplaceable part of this team.”  
“…Right. Thank you, I guess?” Tony mumbled, a bit ashamed but mainly because he wouldn’t want to admit how good it actually felt to hear these words and the knowing glances from Steve and Bruce made him blush, so he just cleared his throat and drinking his coffee silently.  
“Ok, I’ll be in my lab, still working on that experiment. Tony, would you mind helping me with this tomorrow? I’ve got some issues with some aspects and sometimes I need a genius to figure stuff out, you know? Have fun on your date later.” And like that Bruce disappeared, a visible smile caught on his face before he was out of their sight and once again Tony felt a subtle blush creeping on his face because damn, there was just so much of kindness he could take a day and that limit was already reached today as Steve apologized in their bed this morning, Jesus.  
“Are you all right?” Steve asked, but his damn perfect lips were curved into a slight smile and he just nodded, probably about to lose his ability to speak ever again and that was definitely a problem because he really loved hearing himself talking.  
“Good. Now get dressed, we still have plans.”  
“What do you mean, get dressed? You picked the date spot and usually sweatpants fit well in shabby burger restaurants.” He managed, still sounding a bit hoarse and rumpled.  
“I still don’t know what your problem with regular food chains are, I mean, most of the people can’t effort the restaurants you prefer.” Before he could hold against this, Steve continued. “Anyway, put on a suit.”  
And he also left, kissing his still burning cheek and smiling like he just told the best joke ever while Tony’s brain tried to calculate the mathematical probability to be caught in a parallel universe. 

Half an hour later he looked and felt like a human being again – a really good looking human being with a really nice and expensive suit, he added mentally – and he made his way downstairs to wait for Steve since he was ten minutes early.  
“Looking good, Stark.” A female voice appeared and he jumped a bit, looking around to find his favourite assassin on the couch, a book in her hands and eyeing him extensively.  
“You should see me naked.” He replied in some kind of reflex but she just rolled her eyes and got up, approaching him with silent steps.  
“I know, that’s a tempting offer, but I’m in a committed relationship with –“ he shut up his babbling as he was dragged into a tight hug that made him huff all his air from his lungs.  
A few moments passed before he realized that this wasn’t an attempted murder but an actual hug and much more comfortably but nevertheless a bit awkwardly he swung his arms around her small waist and leaned his chin on the women’s shoulder and fuck no, he would never admit how good that felt.  
After a few minutes they let go and Natasha looked him deep in the eyes and there was some kind of fondness inside them he never really saw before she purred: “Go ahead and tell anybody about that. No one will belief you and you’ll be dead within twelve hours.” Before she petted his cheek and left the room, leaving him confused.  
“Are you all right, babe?” Steve suddenly appeared after a brief moment of wondering and numbness and he forced a smile before he turned around and his smile dropped again because damn.  
“You look stunning” the words escaped his mouth before he could do anything about it but he didn’t really mind because that was the truth, maybe a bit understated because a word capturing the view he got still remained to be invented.  
“Pretty good for someone who’s approaching hundred, right? Still, you don’t look bad yourself either.”  
Hell, when did the Captain became so sassy but there was no much time to wonder because he was suddenly close and a hand was in his hair, freeing a streak from his gelled style, his fingers fumbling with it but that deep blue eyes fixed on him, watching and seemingly enjoying the sight of every inch of him and there was so much love buried in them he felt like being set on fire and he could hardly stand it.  
“Breathe, Tony, I still need you.” Steve smiled so bright it almost hurt and Tony swallowed and actively reminded himself to breathe again, shaking his head slightly and begging his brain to properly work again.  
“Breathing, right. Ok, ready, Capsicle?” and he headed towards the door, one hand in his hair to fix the minor damaged done, the other one was grabbed by his boyfriend, holding him back and before he could react, he was pulled into a slow and promising kiss in which he willingly literally melted, loving the rough lips on his, the love and desire hidden beneath it and the warmth of their closeness.  
“I love you. Now we can go.”  
And he felt from far away how that warm hand pulled him towards the door.  
“What did I tell you about that breathing thing again?”

By the time they reached the restaurant Tony was 80 per cent sure he somehow drank himself into another universe because Steve hated those fancy upper class hot spots and usually just agreed on going when it was the only option to make him eat at all but still they were standing there, Happy driving away with his car behind them and one of the fanciest restaurants in New York in front of them.  
But he didn’t say anything, juts looking questioningly to Steve who smiled a bit nervous, not looking at him at all.  
They sat by the window, the skyline was a pleasant view, enough privacy for not being recognized and being themselves and they lost themselves in conversations about everything and nothing, giggling and feeding each other and holding hands like the lovesick teenagers Clint accused them to be.  
Tony really couldn’t remember why he had doubted anything just a few hours ago because screw his birthday, he loved that man and his team and they had so many ways to show their affection why would he need a dumb day once a year to remind him?  
“I’m sorry I didn’t get you a present.” Steve told him after their desserts arrived and looking at him suddenly serious.  
“Excuse me, birthday sex with Captain America totally counts as a present.” Tony laughed, licking some chocolate sauce from his finger and watching his boyfriend’s immediate reaction with a smirk.  
But he just cleared his throat, focussing again on his eyes and there was a slight pain in them and why was there pain, they were happy.  
“Your expectation shouldn’t be so low about your birthday.”  
“Why should I keep my hopes up, I never had a good one.”  
“Well, sorry that it remained like this this year.” He replied, breaking the eye contact and no, that’s not how it supposed to go.  
“Whatever, don’t you mind. This is a really nice evening and I don’t want to spend it mopping about shit like that.”  
“Well, that’s a pity because I actually do have a belayed present for you but I don’t know if you’ll like it.” And suddenly he looked unsure and nervous again and Tony watched him in silence, his forehead a bit wrinkled but he didn’t go on.  
“If it’s more birthday sex, I promise I’ll love it.”  
“It’s not. Well, that doesn’t mean we can do this as well.”  
Steve looked him in the eyes again, his glance still shy but determined before he grabbed his hand and took a deep breath.  
“You know, sorry wasn’t the only thing I was. Of course I was because I forgot my god darn boyfriend’s birthday. But I mainly angry because I forgot about the most important thing I have in my life and the one thing that makes everything in this century bearable and enjoyable. But I was also angry because I had something planned. It was just an idea but I thought it would be a nice date to do it.”  
“Do what?” Tony asked utterly confused, not knowing where he was going but he was silenced by another glance.  
“I do love you and I know you know that. But sometimes I feel like you don’t know how much I do. Sometimes when I say it I have the feeling you don’t belief me and that makes me sick because how couldn’t I? You gave me everything, you gave me a life and a home and a purpose and showed me how it is to be loved and to love myself. The last years with you… I just can’t tell you how grateful I am for everything you’ve done and do for me and for the team and for the people. And I really want it to last, no matter what. I never imagined my future to be like this but now I don’t want to imagine it without you.”  
Tony swallowed hard, biting back the tears that threatened to escape. Hell, he knew that he loved him but hearing that, hearing things like that, made his chest almost hurt. It was almost painful to hear him say all those nice things with that ridiculous sincerity in his low voice.  
“Maybe I really should have done that on your birthday because then I would have only one date I could forget, but I swear I’ll remember this moment forever.”  
Suddenly there was a small box in front of him and oh god, there was a ring inside it, blinking innocently in the reflex of the dimmed light and he couldn’t help but clenching his jaw and embracing his grip around Steve’s hand a bit tighter.  
“Tony Stark… Would you marry me?”  
He still starred at the ring, the beautiful small shimmery stones embedded in the plain silver that looked awfully lot like Vibranium and now he really couldn’t hold back one small tear escaping his eye and his hands were trembling and his hear pumped too much blood through his shell shocked body and once again he totally forgot how to breathe.  
“Tony?”  
Oh right, he had to answer, he still had to do it and he totally forgot because how was he even supposed to say no, how could he? Why did he even ask, he could have just told him that they were engaged now, there was no world in which he could say no.  
“Yes. Of course.”  
And he felt those hot lips on his and felt the relieved smile as the kiss intensified and suddenly there was a ring on his finger, feeling strange but like it belonged there in every possible way and in that dizzy haze he still heard Steve saying something but it didn’t get through him because it didn’t matter since there was no way he could ever be happier than in this exact moment.

The car ride home was a disaster because they made out heavily and it was such a torture to wait until they got home and not delivering Happy the show of his life. His tie was already loose and some buttons of Steve’s shirt open already and finally they reached the Stark Tower and Happy dropped them off, obviously relieved that they managed to wait and without losing their lip’s contact they managed to open the front door and Tony needed all his will strength to not desecrate their elevator as they headed upstairs.  
“Oh good lord, spare me that view.” Clint said from far away but Tony didn’t mind, he just really wanted to reach their bedroom.  
“I assume he said yes, Cap?”  
Steve just hummed distractedly, trying to find the stairs blindly.  
“Congratulations, guys. I’ll be responsible for your bachelor party, Tones.”  
Tony took the next best thing which turned out to be a sofa pillow and threw it in the direction he heard Clint’s voice coming from.  
“All right, don’t get pregnant.”  
They finally managed the way to their bedroom which appeared to be much farer away than usually and Steve kicked the door open and held in a second, blinking confused.  
Tony, not pleased about that sudden lack of contact, looked around and gasped.  
Someone, and he was pretty sure it was Clint the way he was lingering in the kitchen, waiting for their return, had draped a shitload of candles and roses all around the room.  
“Well, that was unexpected.” Steve mumbled, still distracted.  
“Yes, that’s why we don’t let the children unattended.”  
The blonde chuckled and leaned in for a new hot kiss, making all his thoughts disappeared because right, there was a think like engagement sex and who would need birthday sex if they can get that?


End file.
